Darryl Cramer
October 16th, 2005

Fox News Smackdown!

René Duprée’s massive, 6’3” 250-pound body struts onto
the stage. Surrounded by blaring music, fireworks and
artificially-enhanced women gyrating in skin-tight outfits, he
flexes his substantial muscles and waves the French flag. In
no hurry, he sneers at the crowd as he moves towards the
ring. Upon relieving the announcer of the microphone, his
booming voice declares to the overwrought crowd, “Je vous
annonce que je suis fabuleux!” (“I tell you that I am
fabulous!”) His accent betrays the fact that he is not French,
rather French-Canadian, but no one seems to observe or
care about the nuance: they clearly hate the guy.

Professional wrestling does not, however, have a monopoly
on explosive visual and audio pyrotechnics. While one might
expect to find such eye-popping, channel surfing-stopping
exhibitions on MTV or Monday Night Football, a 24-hour
news network would be less obvious. Nevertheless, Fox
News does not disappoint. Tune in seeking to find out what
is going on in the world and be barraged by screaming
opinion show hosts, wagging fingers, whirling graphics,
smiling commentators and breaking news “alerts” for stories
that might normally be considered banal. We can be thankful
for being unable to view the spectators, but one might
imagine their reactions to be equally rapturous.

An Open Letter of
Encouragement to
Democrats and Liberals

Initial essay from
November 4th, 2004

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